The Darndest Things...

Recently I came upon a great deal on some clothing I'd been eying, so I grabbed a few things and dashed into the dressing room with Jesse. (Gabe wasn't with me.) I was relieved to find the largest room open, since all the others were full. Score. Luck was on my side. *Now hold on- time out- keep this in your brain while I tell you another story.
My kids have the cutest buns. I mean cuter than the buns of your kids. That's right- little tushies of perfection- if you can imagine. (They look just like Matt's buns- only tiny, by the way.) So we tell the boys what we think. Every time they're naked -be it bath time, changing their respective diaper/clothes, or moments they've stripped down just to streak across the living room- they're pretty much bombarded with compliments on the cuteness of their tiny rumpies. Matt and I say things like, "I love your buns! Oh your little rear is so cute I could bite it! All the little girls must think you're so sexy!" etc. -Ok.-
Now back to the first story:
So we're in the changing room and I'm scrambling like a mad woman to try everything on as quickly as possible and get out. Now- I'm wearing garmies, so my zones are remaining fairly well covered (JUST FOR THE RECORD!!), when Jesse decides to reciprocate my daily affections. Loudly. I've got one arm cranked over my head, tied up in a shirt I'm attempting to remove, and the other hand trying (ineffectively) to put something on a hanger, when I hear, "I LOVE YOU BUNS, MOMMY!! - I LIKE YOU BUNS! - THEY'S SO SEXY!!" I knew all the people in the fitting rooms could hear every word. Desperately I pleaded with him (in a whisper) to be quiet. It wasn't until I gave in and raised my own voice that he finally stopped talking over me in his quest to declare his very boisterous admiration. I'm expecting a visit from the Special Victims investigators any day now.

I've heard of kids who ask their moms in public restrooms if they're pooping in there, and even comment on the odor.
I think mine was worse.


*P.S.- I am well aware that use of the term "sexy" is a bit disturbing when used to describe a child. Obviously I use it jokingly. Wish I could have explained that to the women who had to stop fidgeting with zippers in order to call the cops about the monster three stalls over.