Monday, July 30, 2007

Jesse's Birthday Party- It's Good to be 2!

I kind of posted these in the wrong order. Sally (Emile's mom) is bathing Gabey cause he ate some frosting and smeared it ALL OVER himself.

It was lots of fun! Emile had to help J blow out the candles cause he wasn't sure what to do, but the boys dug right in and enjoyed the cake! The whole yard actually smelled like sugar; I'm not kidding.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

More Playdates

Gabe helped himself to Emile's birthday cake. His arms may be chunky, but they're long!

Playdates with Emile

Monday, July 16, 2007

Politically Correct Story of the Three Little Pigs

The Three Proportionally Unique Sows

Once upon a time in a land far away near a place called San Francisco, there lived three proportionally unique suidae sisters, two of whom were sowism activists and spent much of their time squealing out against the evil ways of the boar.

One day the sisters decided they needed shelter. The first proportionally unique sow immediately demanded government subsidized housing and moved into a house of straw. But it was not as nice as she felt she was entitled to, so she hired a smart but sleazy lawyer and sued the federal government for improper treatment of a citizen. The feds buckled and moved her strait away into one of the newest brick houses in the area, where she lead an alternative lifestyle with her sowfriend. Shacking up together the sows enjoyed substantial tax breaks.

The second proportionally challenged sow was an illegal immigrant, so she preyed on the weakness and generosity of her community and conned her neighbors into building her a custom dream home with reinforced walls. She moved in right away and brought along her 19 siblings and their families.

The third proportionally unique sow scrimped and saved and invested, and purchased a small, old, but clean house of brick. Unfortunately, the government had to raise the taxes of the third, responsible sow in order to provide for her sisters, so she couldn't afford to stay. She was forced to sell her home and ended up in a straw and stick shack on the bad side of town, where she was soon shot and killed by the big bad wolf. And the two other sows lived hapily ever after. The end.

Monday, July 2, 2007


No crap, we just saw one of Matt's old friends on To Catch a Predator. He was just a Marine, nice guy, we actually had him out to our house a bit when we lived in Southern California. Just be careful; it's almost impossible to know who might be capable of harming a child. (The show I mentioned is on NBC; it shows sting operations for sexual predators online.) The episode that aired tonight was out of Longbeach, where cops (along with Chris Hansen from NBC) caught FIFTY-ONE of these perverts before moving on to another location. To check your area for local predators, go to where you'll find names, pictures, and detailed lists of offenses. It also doesn't hurt to check out other areas on there that your kids frequent- grandparents' & friends' houses, favorite parks, schools, etc. It's so important to know who's out there as much as possible; you will be so shocked at how many there are if you haven't done this before. Check other addresses you've lived at too; you really won't believe it. And check your area often, the system is constantly being updated.

You Know You're a Wife/Mommy When...

*Your biggest disappointment of the day was finding your eighth butter knife in your husband's toolbox

*You find yourself excited to use the first diaper of the package when your kid goes up a size

*No other gift can top last Christmas when you got your septic tank pumped

*You have to comfort your spouse when one of the pretzels he had stuffed in his nose gets jammed up there too far and "It really hurts!"

*You have to endure, "Look, Honey! I blew the rest of the pretzel out! It's right here on my sleeve, see? LOOK or I'll feed it to you."

Does everyone else experience these things?

She Got a Big Tip.

About a week ago we gave in to the lure of the Texas Roadhouse, and boy was it an evening to remember. While we were there Jes managed to dump out Matt's wing sauce, but the waitress was great about it and brought out some more. -Which Jesse promptly dumped out. She just smiled, and brought the third one with a lid. Jesse also dumped out one full beverage, and slapped at and overturned a cup of cinnamon butter. We gave up and left earlier than we would have liked. On the way out of the booth Gabriel smacked the to-go box, which landed upside down on the floor.

Papa Greg Will Love This

J's gonna be a freakin baseball player or something. The kid's got an amazing arm. The other day Matt took the bottle out of Jesse's mouth and chucked it across the room. (This is Matt's attempt to cure Jesse of his bottle dependence.) Anyway, Jesse ran across the room, picked up his bottle, and beamed Matt in the head with it. It seems his accuracy improves greatly when he has the motivation of wamping his dad with something. Maybe Matt should be the catcher when we teach Jesse to pitch.

Interactions With My Boys

From the front passenger seat of the car a few days ago I looked over at my guy with a heart full of affection and told him, "I love you, Matt," to which he quietly responded, " I love myself too."
But Matt's not the only one who spouts 'em off in the car without even thinking.
The other day we were driving and the baby was, as usual, sick of his car seat, which he expressed by wailing at the top of his lungs. I checked him to verify that all his limbs were intact and no one had stolen his birthday, but still he continued to cry. We'd all had enough but were enduring it well until Jesse couldn't resist the opportunity to discipline his little bro. He looked right at him, yelled "Bad Baby!" and spit on him. We're at a loss as to where he came up with this, cause Matt and I certainly don't talk to them like that. Or spit. The mystery lives on...
On that particular car ride there was also a point where Jesse was the one being disciplined. Matt was in the middle of delivering a small lecture when Jesse simply put his fingers in his ears and turned away, refusing to make eye contact. It came out of nowhere! It was like he was saying, "As long as I don't hear you or see you, your words are meaningless; and furthermore, I simply don't care to listen." I had a dog who did that when we bathed her. She'd turn her smug face away from us as we poured water over her, as if refusing to accept the situation. Okay, Babe. Whatever makes you feel better. Matt and I totally cracked up, by the way, when Jes did that. Well, we hid it as best as we could, but Jesse's no dumby.

The other day I overheard Matt talking to J-man in a baby voice. This is what he said.
"Jesse, you know when you was little you was just my favorite person ever? But now you're big and I just don't like you. Plus you smell like poo. You should go away."
Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Matt and Jesse have the SAME brain. I swear stuff like this happens all the time. This last week they were wrestling and Matt was laying on his back holding a helpless Jesse upside down over his face, when Matt quickly predicted the future. He's all, "Now watch, DK, he's gonna S-P-I-T on-" and that's when Jesse spit on him. This particular scenario had never taken place before, but when I asked Matt how he knew he was gonna do that, he matter-of-factly explained, "Cause that's what I would have done if I were him."

And Heaven Knows What Else...

Matt has recently eaten the following things out of Jesse's mouth:
two rejected bites of pizza
a chunk of Fruit By The Foot that was stuck to J's front tooth
multiple pieces of partially dissolved Twix bar (on numerous occasions)

And this is just the stuff I've caught him at. Just thought the world should know.