I Wonder Why I Never Get Anything Done...

Ever wonder about the average day in the life of a Donna? (I'm sure you're up at night pondering this.) Well, here's a taste.
The other day I looked at my list and saw that I had a phone call to make. At that same moment I detected a foul funk in the air, and followed it to Jesse's rear end. I laid him down and changed his diaper, and in the process I ended up with some of the nastiness on my hand, which I took care of with a wipe. I got up from the floor and headed for the sink to wash my hands, but on the way I passed a stack of boxes that needed to be taken out to the trash can. I decided to quickly take that outside while my hands were already dirty so I wouldn't have to wash twice. And since I was going, I might as well check to see if the kitchen trash can was full. So I opened it up and saw that actually, there's nothing in there at all, because Matt took it out and I forgot to put a new bag in. So I went to get a new garbage bag and when I opened the drawer I noticed that it wobbled a little bit, and upon further inspection I found that it was just a simple loose screw. So, I headed to the door that closes off the stairs to the second level, which is under construction, and which is where our tools currently reside. So I opened the door to the bottom of the stairs and saw that it was piled waist-high with junk that needs to be taken up. As I was hauling all the stuff, somewhere around the third or fourth trip up I spotted my old sewing machine, which reminded me, I've got to hem those pants. Then I realized I still had unwashed poop hands and not only that, but I had been running around for a half an hour and had completed nothing. Let us review: phone call- never made, post-diaper hands- never washed, trash- still in kitchen, trash can- still bagless, wobbly drawer- still loose, screwdriver- never retrieved, stairway- still partially cluttered, and now I can add to my list: must hem pants. Furthermore, I have to really hurry with most of this, cause the boy I watch will be arriving soon and heaven knows I won't be able to get anything done with another critter around. Additionally, the kids are hungry and there's another dirty diaper, and I was just then realizing I had to make dinner for the missionaries, and I hadn't even gotten to the grocery store yet. That would be tricky, because Matt had our automatic car that day and I can't drive a stick. What a rewarding morning! I felt so energized and efficient! I was so thrilled with my accomplishments I decided I just might quit, having reached my lifelong goal. Oh, wait. I can't. Who else would volunteer to do all this? And who can keep all these things up in the air at once? Mom, that's who. I may not be fabulous, but I'm dependable and I do my best, and with three of the sweetest (-although stinkiest) boys on the planet, how could I want anything more? Well, besides a teflon-coated house; I'm talking walls, furniture, floor, everything. And it would all slope to a drain in the center, and every wall would hold a long hose with a very powerful nozzle, and I could choose from dish soap, pine sol, or strait water, sort of like a car wash. And it needs a giant fan that would dry the whole place in 4.8 seconds. And maybe it could style my hair for me after my showers. But that's it, that will do fine. Nothing more. Oooh except a 20-machine laundromat attached to the house, with a gigantic table for folding and storage. But that's all. And maybe a self-stocking, industrial fridge. But I'm a reasonable person. I could make this work with only those few small conveniences. Just like the pioneers.