While Daddy's Away

Let me paint you a quick portrait of our house while Daddy's away. First of all, Matt is the only thing we talk about when he's out of town. I'm constantly bombarded with questions like, "Where Daddy go? Where Daddy? Where Daddy go? Where Daddy go? Where Daddy?!" Then we progress to the "I want Daddy" phase, and from there we venture into "Want give Daddy cup of water. Want give Daddy kiss. That Daddy's shirt right there. Want see Daddy's gun. Want go walk with Daddy" territory. At lease I don't have to wonder if they miss him. Lately Matt's been in places where he can at least call us. Jes gets on the phone to relay such important bulletins as "Jes go potty," and "Jes eat chocolate," and "Baby sleeping." Throughout each day there are inevitably five or six thousand moments when I wish Matt was here for this. Such instances range from Gabe learning a new trick, to Jes learning a new bad word, or poop somehow ending up, yet again, someplace it does not belong- (and you wondered why we own a steam cleaner). Sometimes daily pleasures as simple as the grippy slap of Gabe's bare feet on the kitchen floor cause me to wonder why on earth we're out here doing this, apart from one another. Whatever the reason we chose to come (who can remember?), we're here, and even when it sucks, I know we're in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing. And there's comfort in that. Besides, in a matter of days, Matt will always come back to revel with me in the delight of a toddler who sneaked away with a five pound bag of candy, or a newly- walking baby who must open and close every cupboard door because he can. And in the meantime, I can tell Dad about the latest unloading the bookshelves and throwing everything into the toilet stages and the defiant I Don't Have to Listen to Mom Cause I Don't Wanna struggles that arise. Dad always listens intently, filled with jealously as I relate stories about Jesse stopping in the store to squat into a very conspicuous diaper messing, or Gabe diving head-first into the breasts of a large woman at church. Not too surprisingly though, there is the occasional episode Matt is not exactly disappointed to miss. These events transcend the world of pooping and groping and exist within the realm of ingesting revolting material and any scandal involving regurgitation. The man's a lightweight. Let me close with this: our lives are messy, sometimes downright horrific, but it's our life. And we love it.