Hello all. Ok I know, that last entry was a mess. Type-o's, wording mistakes- oh well. Apparently you've forgiven me cause you're obviously back for more. [Gabe's sitting on the floor right now, 100% nude. He just had a bath and I'm letting his hiney air out to clear up his rash. It's a risky business, but a necessary one. That kid is so cute. Even his armpits.]
Anywho, let us resume the ongoing saga that is my life. Wait. Before I go any further I have to comment. If you are guilty of the following evil, please skip forward and read on as though I didn't just tear your heart to shreds. Then, keep it to yourself. I'll never know you committed the crime, so let's avoid the awkward, "Donna you're a heartless hag and you hurt my feelings" / "Well then you're both tacky AND sensitive" conversation. Now, to the sin. I just can't understand why on earth someone would PAY MONEY to erect an enormous monstrosity in their front yard to celebrate the season. You know what I'm talking about, the giant inflatable things people put up that are supposed to resemble a giant snowman or Santa Claus or one of those Christmas snow globes with a little scene inside and authentic styrofoam snow blowing around. Ok. Now I'm all about expressing your enthusiasm for such a meaningful and fun holiday. But must it obstruct the view of your entire block as viewed through Google earth? Are these "yard ornaments" supposed to fool strangers into thinking that yes, actually, Santa is on your lawn at this very moment, just stopping to wave at motorist passersby? Are these homeowners on the campaign committee for some Christmas Mascot election I don't know about? Perhaps they're just trying to show support for their candidate of choice. I really don't know. But I do know this. If my neighbor got one of those I'd hit my local Wal-Mart to invest in a pellet gun. Surely there are other Grinches like me out there who would like to put into the works some sort of legislation to prohibit such atrocities. And while we're at it, let's do away with size 24+ bikinis, men's toupees, and anything that could be misconstrued as a leg warmer. Oooh! And those "skinny jeans" that look like the butt portion is sliding down the legs, and girls wear them with flats, as if they're in some How to Make an Attractive Person Look Really Bad contest. I guess this is all a sign that I'm old and officially out of style. (As if I was ever in.) And sorry, but unless you are three or younger, those skirts that are just multiple layers of ruffles, you know- that barely cover your butt, well they're not only age-inappropriate, but also make you look like a particularly cheap bimbo. Find another way to show off your sexy (or sometimes, unsexy) legs. Wow. I've really gotten off the subject. Back to... well, me.
A couple days ago Gabe came to me without pants or a diaper and peed on my foot. Conversely, Jesse came to me today without pants or a diaper, with poop all over his behind, and laid directly onto the floor, choosing to be more hands-on (or, cheeks-on) in is approach to defiling the carpet. It's not normally like this around here! Well, not to that extreme. My children don't usually run about the place with nary a covering to catch their nasties. Maybe that's the theme of the week and I just missed the memo. Whatever the case, I'm gonna have to make some changes around here. Perhaps I should begin with diapering my naked Gabriel, now that his butt is sufficiently dry. But seriously, he doesn't normally run around like this. I do diaper and dress my children! It just doesn't always stick. What's a girl to do?
No comments:
Post a Comment