It's been more than forever since I've really written anything, yet the boys somehow continue to shovel out material like free manure. So in light of my growing piles, here I am. "Spread the stench," that's what I say. Enjoy.
Where to begin... I could never have imagined that after having children, a trip to the dentist would be like a vacation. Talk about your 180's. I go and enjoy the discomfort, the lovely pineapple tooth polish and the awkward attempted conversation with my mouth wide open. I swear up and down that I'll start flossing more often (and even mean it a little), and leave with a new commitment to spend more time caring for my gums. This resolution lasts all of 20 minutes until I get home and my life's reality sets back in.
It's not that being with the kids is a bad thing, just a bit complicated, and off-putting occasionally. Certainly inconvenient. I have to remember that if nothing else, at least they're entertaining. For example, about a week ago Jesse fell backwards off his mini trampoline and into a small plastic bin. When he rolled over and stood up the bin was still stuck on his butt. A real Steve Urkel move. The day before that he fell off the exercise bike and immediately shouted, "I'm OK!" ...So he's a bit clumsy. I still like him.
Right now J's getting some molars so he has a perpetually running nose, and of course we're going through box after box of tissues. A couple days ago I called him over for yet another wiping and he instantly issued me a look of refusal. When I persisted he finally gave in and headed toward me. That is, until he got a better idea. He proceeded to wipe his thick, opaque nose sludge all over my pile of freshly folded towels. Thanks a lot. And it would be really nice if that was the only inappropriate place he smeared his face slugs. Unfortunately, Gabe is smaller (slightly) than Jesse at this point, and therefore Jesse is obliged to use the baby's FACE as a Kleenex. I've actually witnessed this. I believe I was far more horrified than even the victim himself. Matt assures me that this type of exploitation is just another cross little brothers have to bear. Well not while I'm around. (Not anymore, I mean.)
Matt says lots of things I don't want to accept. Like, if I were to dress the baby in a somewhat nerdy outfit- (hey, it fits, it's clean, and he's about to outgrow it), Matt would tell him he looks like a little fagot. I, on the other hand, would say he looks like a cute little boy, dressed in a faggy outfit. See the difference? I do.
Back to Jesse's behavior. Has anyone else's child developed the clever skill of hampering nap time through oratory distraction? Without exaggeration- Jesse will prattle on through the list of appeals: I need a new diaper. Take off my shirt? My pants? Put on lotion? I need a different blanket. Can I wear a hat? Can I wear shoes? Socks? Check on Baby. Read. Please give me water, and on, and on... You've got to credit the effort. But in this department, Mommy is finally in charge. (I take 'em where I can get 'em.) He also employs this tactic when he doesn't want to do what I ask of him. Say he's supposed to put the box of wipes back where it belongs. Sudden amnesia sets in. OK Mom, here? No? Do they go here? How about over there. Ohhh, you mean HERE? I know, you mean right here! Every single spot but the proper place.
Other things he does are somewhat more endearing. Every once in a while when he thinks I'm not looking I catch him sharing his prized possessions with Gabriel. He even defends Gabe from other kids who occasionally try to take his toys. And anytime Gabe drops anything at all Jesse runs to his rescue. These are some of my favorite moments. There may be nothing sweeter than the sight of my kids loving each other. Gabe laughs in his high chair when Jes runs up to him and then slowly sneaks around the side of the chair, launching a spontaneous round of peek-a-boo. Although not far behind all this on the list of Kodak moments, a two year old wearing nothing but a pull-up and a super-cool (if somewhat nerdy) forehead light strapped to his noggin must surely rank someplace respectable. Oh- he was also wearing an adult belt adjusted to fit his waist, with a two-foot length fed through the buckle and hanging at his side. Impressive? I think so.
There's so much more to tell, but by the sounds of it there's a dying baby to be rescued, so this will have to wait.
No comments:
Post a Comment