Matt's Latest...

Hello All. I'm starting to wonder if perhaps I should just record every word that leaves my husband's mouth and play it here for you all to enjoy. Here are some of his most recent.

Self explanatory: "Honey! What the crap!? Someone like, swapped Gabe's fingernails out for tiny razors and they're stuck in my face! Help me!"

I commented one morning as he was on his way out the door. "Nice butt!" I yelled. His response? "Oh yeah? You should see it when it's going (farting sounds) and poop's coming out!"

A couple weeks ago Matt was sitting on the floor in front of the couch and I was rubbing his shoulders. When I walked away Jesse took over the job and began squeezing his dad where I'd just rubbed. Matt commented to me later about it; his words were, "...I mean, granted he was just pinching my skin, and it kind of hurt, but the kid is so cute!"

The other day Matt was saying everything as though he was a gangster. Everything. All Day. It was really freaking annoying, and when I'd finally had enough I told him he'd better stop or I was gonna explode. He whipped right around and spouted, "What's the matta, Ho? You don't like the G in me?" Heaven bless me, I wanted to punch him.

Now, Gabey's a puker. (Uncle Luke, aka "Puke" would be so proud!) Ever since about a month ago, he just spits up all the time. Well one evening Matt (after having been slimed yet again) remarked, "OK now he's just doing it for attention." Seriously.

And another development around the house- anytime Jes passes gas through his lower region (which he does with pride), Matt's quiet comment: "Nice push, Bud."

And now my favorite, which really explains itself, and in my opinion should be printed on shirts to be worn by husbands everywhere: "You know Sweetie, every once in a while you should shut up while I talk." I about peed my pants.